The thing is, my smile is often a false pretence, out there to fool people into thinking im okay, Maybe sometimes its a good thing, so at school or job interview, but at home maybe i should show how i feel more, open up to people and then they may be able to help. I dont feel like i can complain about how i feel to anyone because i dont show them and would refuse to tell them how i feel anyway. So what does it matter if i do complain to people about feel pretty shit, they wouldnt be able to help because i wouldnt tell them the truth. I would just shrug my shoulders and say nothing or i dont know.
It is quite sad how my psychiatrist knows more about how i feel and what i do to get rid of these emotions, than my parents do. I want my mum to come in on friday but i dont want her to be there all the time, so i can have a little time to myself to tell him the rest of what i left out with mum.
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