Imagine this. Your walking through a cave, its pitch dark and you cannot see anything. You are searching for the light. You are searching and searching becoming ever more desparate but you cant find it. You go around a corner and you see the exit. You run and run and run but the door seems to be closing. You get so close, but it closes and you have to turn around and search again. You find the next one and you run and run and you get there. Just. This journey can last for days, even weeks at a time and it repeats over and over. Sometimes you get out the first time, and sometimes you get out after the fifth exit.
Thats the only way i can describe how i feel now, i missed the first one and i am still searching for a way out without cutting the darkness out...
Had a little heart to heart with my parents yesterday. Told them how i feel constantly and how cutting seems to be the way out sometimes. Told them how i feel so lost, they said theyy understand a bit more now. Hopefully my job will help, a change of scene, new people, new experiences, new found confidence! HOPEFULLY. FINGERS CROSSED!
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